ZOMBIES TAKE CENTER STAGE: DEAD CENTER

Fish Rap Live!
Volume 18, Issue 7



I was almost denied my high school diploma. Second semester of my senior year, I was failing my freshman-level drama class.

There were two main reasons my grade was hanging in the balance. For one, my arch nemesis and fierce rival Jimmy Weinberger told my epileptic teacher that he saw me imitating her in the midst of a seizure one day in the hall (not true). Long story short, she hated me from that day forward and had no qualms about letting me know via my report card.

However, the fact that I can’t act was the main reason I was failing. Kids who weren’t even in my class would show up on the days I was performing just to see me crash and burn. I was so appalling that my teacher thought I was messing up on purpose to be cute and punished me by giving me harder parts. In truth, I’m not that starved for attention – I’m just no good.

When Devin Fearn asked me if I wanted to be a zombie in his film The Beginning, I said yes without thinking. Honored, I thought, “Who wouldn’t want to have a role in a huge zombie movie – one that’s being submitted to all the major film festivals, previewing at the Rio Theater in early June, and with plans to open up at the Del Mar in the fall?” Then I flashbacked to tumbling offstage during my particularly horrific performance in The Devil and Daniel Webster and thought, “Jesus Christ, what am I thinking?” But it was too late; I was already onboard.

Fearn wrote and produced this indie zombie flick with a group of students and young professionals. The “very bloody and emotional” project is backed by director Jono Schaferkotter and the production company Before North Studios. Fearn says that “the film is a rollercoaster of…well, it’s zombie-tastic. Just tell people it’s ‘zombie-tastic.’”

On the day of shooting, I tried to put myself in a bad mood to get into character (zombies are pissed off because they’re dead), but I was too nervous. I also broke out in hives, but this was probably more due to the zombie makeup (a.k.a. red gelatin, mud, and butt cream) that I was covered in.

I was sure my sub par acting skills would be quickly realized and that I would be banished to the background, but lucky for me, this was an intimate scene and every zombie got a little face time with the camera. I was asked to maul one of the human survivors with a group of fellow zombies. For the first take, I didn’t know what to do: Do I growl? Do I snarl? Do I bite him for real? Instead, I poked at him hesitantly like people do when they’re served those jellos with the real fruit in the middle.

By the second take, I knew it was time to get it together. All the other zombies presumably got straight A’s in their high school drama classes because they stayed in character even between takes. Deciding that I wouldn’t be shown up, I kicked it into high gear. With the cameras rolling, I channeled all my anger from my unresolved daddy issues and launched into a full-fledged zombie attack on my costar.

Later that day, as I washed off the fake blood mixed with the real blood from the real wounds I acquired while spending 10 hours eating human brains, I felt a surge of pride. People actually put enough faith in me to let me be a part of their creative endeavors. They most likely had no idea what they were getting themselves into when they asked for my help. However, I might be a better actor than I think. When I told the confused tour groups I passed on the way back to my apartment that I was bloody because I was raped, they looked shocked and aghast. Perhaps my small role in The Beginning has shown me my calling as a blood-soaked extra.